Inch by Inch

My father has had his own small business for almost forty years. He survived the startup years, gone through seasons of bounty and seasons of famine, and now looks retirement. Many of his employees have been with him almost as long. My brother started his small business almost twenty years ago. Working internationally he's bridged language and cultural barriers and worked at odd hours to coincide with a client's time zone while weathering economic shifts, domestically and globally. So it only seems fitting I, too, would start my own business.

Radiologie is the beginning of a dream come true. I worked for several production companies back in my freelance days, and kept mental notes of how they ran things. Good and bad. What projects they choose, the vibe they established, the organization of their projects. I've waited to implement the things I learned. I've waited to give eager young kids the same opportunity given to me. I've waited to be paid for what I love. But I've learned filing your name with the state, getting a landline for your office, and metaphorically opening your doors for business is just dipping your toe in the entrepreneurial waters. I started the company to write, produce, and direct yet I spend most of my days working sales. Cold calls and emails, networking with past contacts and creating new ones, and negotiating short term deals for long term hopes, wondering when the next paycheck will come. I'm learning a whole new kind of perseverance. The dream will not be handed to me, it must be fought for. Everyday I must resist self-doubt, rejection, and disappointment, which is extremely exhausting day after day, just so I can handle the things before me. It's a lot like marriage. Success is more dependent on my commitment than my feelings.

 

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The Commitments

I've tied, albeit unsuccessfully, to write more. Be it here or a feature screenplay, or anything, I allow life to take over and writing takes a backseat. I know I'm not the only writer to struggle with it so I take some comfort in the universality of it but it resist the tendency. One of the main hindrances is my internal editor. I do write things but a piece of me, a rather loud and controlling piece, declares it's not ready and must be finessed. So I put it in the queue with the other ideas awaiting my editing attention, and there it lives. Writing purgatory. Well, it's time to resurrect them but before I do I must conquer perfectionism. Or, is that a contradictory statement? Regardless, I think I need to learn just to get my ideas out, polished or not. And what better way then through my blog. Even though I have fewer followers than fingers on one hand you will nevertheless encourage me and hold me accountable to this decision. Especially in the wake of so many awesome things happening these days, particularly in film. Documenting it will help me remember in the future. So tomorrow, I will post something. Maybe brief, incoherent, a partial thought but it will be something. I'm inclined at this point to discuss my current endeavor, Radiologie Co., the video production company I started with my friend/collaborator. Until then...


 

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